SSB: The five memorable days of my life

Service Selection Board, the board selecting the best young men and women among the youth of the nation, for the noble cause of serving the nation as officers in Army, Navy and Air Force. I had been lucky enough once to face the board. Where and when is not important, what is more important is even today, after what may be regarded as a good amount of time, has passed; I feel that those five days were the best days of learning. I could not make it the last day (the conference day); but it made me feel for the very first time that, I had been successful even after loosing, though.

It was morning of January 26 when I woke up and got a telegram from Naval Headquarters, mentioning that I have been shortlisted for SSB interview at one of the Naval Selection Boards. I was overjoyed, for it had been my dream to face the board at least once. To me it meant a lot. I would have become more than happy if I were able to clear the first day screening. The other reason was I was to be interviewed for the teaching cadre, teaching being my passion.

Anyways, the response from parents was as expected; neither mom nor dad was happy with this. Being a single child is a big deal, I don't know why? But then I had already made up my mind, the time I filled up the form without letting anybody know. So, the words of mom and dad were like the dialogues, I had mentally scripted.

It was still over two and a half months to go for SSB and I was sure that, by then I will be able to convince my parents. I already had a strategy for that. As the first step of execution, I left the topic for them to discuss and made no comments on whatever they said to me. Then when it came to getting tickets reserved when around one month was yet to go, there would have been another drama, so I got my tickets reserved without letting anybody know. Though mom had some intuition but she thought that I would surely let her know about it. Exactly when seven days were left for me to start, I told my parents about my reservation, and the whole travel plan. It in no way was a pleasant news for them. They talked to my research guide in this regard, and it was he who convinced my parents to let me go. I eventually had a reservation from a city nearby and not from my hometown to avoid what I call a platform scene. I actually have never been able to figure out, why people cry when someone leaves. I mean, it in general is not a one day issue. At least in India people get their journey tickets reserved well before time to avoid unwanted fuss. So everybody knows about departure and there is a lot of time for everyone to organise a crying ceremony at home, but why at platforms, God only knows.

Anyways, I started on the stipulated date and reached my destination a day before the date of SSB. I then got a room in a hotel and settled there for a day. The city was nice and evening was pleasant. I had a walk in the evening, then had dinner and then finally went to bed. In between things happened that are not important enough to be mentioned. The next morning I woke up and left the hotel at 1200 hrs and reached the railway station, from where we were supposed to be picked up by the representatives from NSB . Exactly at 1330 hrs a bus arrived that proudly announced Naval Selection Board with city name. There were around 30 of us from different places of country. We all were marked present and picked up on production of the telegram mentioning our roll numbers.

We reached the NSB at 1400 hrs. There we were instructed to deposit our watches (other than me everyone had one) and cell phones. We were asked to call our parents/guardians and let them know that we wont be having cell phones till the period we are with the board. We got done with these formalities in around half an hour and then were asked to move to a room for briefing. There we were told about the rules in short and were given some forms. We filled them up as instructed and submitted all the original testimonials required. By then it was 1600 hrs.

Then we were given chest numbers (mine was 12). We were told that for the next few days we will be known by numbers. Then we were told that there will be a briefing again. At 1700 hrs there we were, sitting silently and an officer of the rank of commander was standing behind the podium. Firm but polite, standing still but dynamic in personality. He spoke to us about the rules and regulations of NSB and it was very clear that none of us is going to be spared once found indulged in any kind of disciplinary breach. What was clear at the same time was that, the board is going to take care of all of us only when we take care of the rules. There were places out of bound for us. There was a single path we were supposed to follow. Everything required by us fell in between. The path led us from the entrance of NSB to our barracks and recreation room, mess, drinking water, bathroom everything was there in between. Rest all the places were simply out of bound.

Now this was all about the first day. That evening we were told to take rest and the next morning we were to face the screening. Everybody among us knew that screening means any number of candidates may be rejected. For no one knows how this works, neither the ones getting selected nor the ones getting rejected. So we were in a state of jeopardy. there were two barracks and 32 candidates, each barrack housing 16. After having taken dinner we were trying to know about each others formal details. But the next morning was to be hectic, so everyone preferred sleeping.

Next morning we were ready for the test after having taken breakfast. We were led to the exam room. Exam was not difficult but certainly strange, at least for me who was appearing for the first time. Now there was a hazy picture that was shown to us for 30 seconds and we had to frame a story based on the characters of the picture and write it within next two and a half minutes. On top of everything, the picture was not clear. Anyways, I wrote a story. Just after we submitted our copies, we were subjected to three consecutive psychometric tests. The strangest of them was that, an empty slide was shown and we had to write a story on that within two or three minutes, I exactly don’t remember. Then there were word based tests and the situation reaction test. We were asked to pen down our reactions on 60 situations mentioned on the question paper within given time. Finally when all this was over we were given a 15 minutes tea break. Just after that we were called for a group discussion on what we have written. Everybody was given one and a half minute to narrate his story to the group and then a discussion followed. It was more of chaos than discussion. Everybody sought a space to place views and finally it grew messier and messier. Finally we were asked to conclude. There were people who were facing SSB for fifth time. Still they didn’t know what the selection criteria was.

After the discussion we were send to take lunch and queue up with our baggage after that. It was obvious that some of us were to be packed up, literally packed up. And few were to survive. Someone said, it happens sometimes that the whole batch is washed out. My heartbeat grew. They started calling us by chest numbers. The ones who were called were lucky. Finally there were 14 persons on the other side. I was not there still. The last number called was 12, it was mine. I was back in the game. I was the fifteenth and the last to be called out. Rest were immediately sent back to the railway station. It was really sad. None of us probably understood how it happened that we felt bad for the people we met some 24 hours back. Strange are emotions. Anyways, it ensured I am going to stay there for the coming days.

Just after that the numbers were redistributed and now I shifted a number ahead. I became chest number 11. Somehow this number happens to be lucky to me. We were again given some forms that we were supposed to fill up. Our certificates were returned back. It was 1700 hrs in the evening. Second day of SSB had been eventful, at least to me. We were told that now on 1400 hrs to 2000 hrs will be free hours for us and we were permitted to go out. That day we were in a mood to celebrate. We went off to the city. We ate and few of us drank. We already felt like winners.

That day we came back had dinner and I called back to home and my research guide, who had made it possible for me to go there. All were happy. Since we were only fifteen, we were shifted to a single barrack. The gossip started at night and it went on till 0100 hrs in the night, much late after lights out. Next day we all were to report to the ground for the tests. It meant early risers were to get benefit of having proper bath. We were in the testing grounds at 0800 hrs sharp. We had some physical tests followed by planning skills test and then extempore. We had our breakfast just after the physical tests were over. The rest followed after that. The tests concluded by 1100 hrs. We had the whole of the free hours to go out. The board was very good, I must say, they kept our second half completely free. Just after the tests were over 5 candidates were interviewed, having numbers from 1 to 5. That way I was to be interviewed the second last day. On consecutive days, we were subjected to group and individual tasks. We triumphed, I must say. The team spirit was not good; it was at its best. Everyone did his best in the individual task. The last day had a test; that required all of us to cross a hurdle with the help of given material with some rules. That was real fun. It included choosing right persons from the group, right number of persons and then completing the task. There I was given one of the toughest in the group that in a way was striking to me. I started feeling, and some of my friends there as well felt that I might be the one of those going to be selected finally. I too had a hint. That day I had my interview. It lasted for 35 minutes. Initially it started with the statement, “you are confused” from the interviewer. It was a personal interview and I had my back towards the clock so no idea, for how long the debate went. Each time I was told that I am wrong in choosing navy as a career option, and each time I defended myself. Finally I was complemented by the officer. To my utter wonder, He was having my copy of the psychometric test in his hand and he asked some questions, I had answered three day back in writing. He was trying to figure out whether, my answers were spontaneous that day or manipulated and polished? It was great.

I would say he was great; the board was great and no matter that I got rejected, it was a great experience. Undoubtedly the Indian defense services have the best persons with them – for the one who choose them, are the best persons in their jobs. Beginning from the persons testing our physical ability to the ones testing our mental aptitude. I appeared for the SSB with high spirit and when I came out rejected, my spirit was even higher. It may sound strange but why that will probably be clear when I will be writing the conversation between me and the interviewing officer as it went, the last five minutes of my interview were the best.

Officer: Well Mr. Choudhury, let us change places. Now you ask me questions, you might have in mind.

Me: Sir, you continuously kept telling me that I was wrong in choosing navy as a career, why is it so?

Officer: (laughed) We needed some point to start from and then develop the conversation. I kept repeating, you were wrong and you kept talking more and more and we spent half an hour discussing. So it was necessary.

Me: Sir, will you please tell me, what will stop me from getting selected, if I get rejected tomorrow. What’s there that is missing in my personality?

Officer: Nothing, Mr. Choudhury. We shortlisted a few hundreds out of thousands. We screened many of you the very first day. Now you are sitting here talking to me. It is because you are better than many others who have not made it to this place.

Me: Well sir, I have nothing more to ask, I have just one thing to say, during different phases of the interview, I found opportunities to reinvent myself, and I am thankful to you and the whole NSB for that. No matter I get selected or rejected, but the facts I have known will be there with me for long.

Officer: It was nice talking to you. Wish you all the best for tomorrow.

I felt very happy and relaxed after that. I straight away went to barrack and told my friends, that we are to go off the city today. I wanted to make the SSB a memorable event of my life. May be I will opt to go to the same scenic place with my spouse sometime in future. Then I would be having so many things to show her and that will take me back again to the SSB, down the memory lane.

We went to a nearby scenic place that evening. It was 12 km from the NSB. We enjoyed the place, each other’s company and above all, our existence. Next morning we were called for conference; that is the terminology used in SSB. The whole board was together. The officers who conducted the physicals, the psychiatrists. All in white and the conference was being presided by the president of the NSB, who conducted the wonderful interview of my life, or may be our lives. I was called in. For sure I was the borderline case, as I understood. Soon after that we were sent for lunch and again called for final results in the same conference room, we seated the very first evening we reached there.

The results were out, Number 4 and 13 were selected, I was not among them. I was sad, still happy, really do not know, why it was so contrasting, so confusing, so special. Perhaps God only knows, for he engineered the human brain and emotions. We were told, this was not the end of the world. We will be having opportunity again, but what I learnt and will keep believing till my heart beats is, were I meant for it, I would have made it to the final list. I won’t say, I was inefficient, but I was not the deserving one, for they wouldn’t have missed me, had it been that way. But I would keep complaining to almighty why is it so? Probably I would have made it to the list had there been a second chance.

I left the place within one hour for I was not interested to be there, at that moment. I came back to home. Mom and dad were happy, their only child is not going to join navy. But they had a doubt about my intensions, towards applying once again. So mom passed her verdict. “No more try, just focus on research.” Still that is what I am doing and the life is rolling at its own natural pace. I strongly feel an urge, still within, I will try for it the next time, may be in my next birth, if it at all happens, for even God won’t take the risk (just kidding).

The Other Thing

No matter, whichever race, cast, creed, religion or nation we belong to, being human beings we all have some common attributes. These necessarily separate us from other living beings. People say it’s the wisdom, or the ability to take decisions that we have been endowed with by nature (I am not saying God, for that will include religion). The question is, is this the only thing that separates us or there is something other than this? For even animals take decision, they also frame strategies, may be that they inherit it from their preceding generations. Whereas we, as human beings change them with time, but I believe, even they do. But it sounds as if a debate is here, so not deviating much, I come to my point. Other than wisdom there is another thing we have and that is very different in case of us all and rest of the contemporary species.

Someone has said; “One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love, and to long life.” I believe that the other thing is desire. We all have desires, to live, to live long, to love, to be loved, to do something, to do better than others, to appreciate, to be appreciated more than we do; and needless to say the list is long. Some desires are good some are bad; naturally everything has got two aspects, so have desires.

People keep on saying that desires are never ending and hence they lead us to wrong doings, but my point is, having no desires is even worse. If one doesn’t have desires how can he or she fix goals or move ahead in life. One desires, so one dreams; one dreams, so one works; and one works so one gets. So desires are the reasons to keep us moving ahead in life. No desires means no dreams; no dreams means, no work and someone again says “Empty mind is devil’s workshop.”

Not only this; desires make us love ourselves. We desire something for us, why? Because we love ourselves. When we desire for something, we need resources and when resources are not enough, we think of new ways and this leads to creativity. Quoting Einstein, “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

So here I make my point, wisdom integrated with desires and working judiciously so as to make desires come to reality is what makes us different and may be better than others. For wisdom alone makes no sense, neither do desires. Only a blend of them makes sense. I think we all have this other part, its just a matter of time, when we realize this.

Life, to me it is…

What’s life? This has been a question asked and answered by great philosophers, thinkers and leaders; over years. This has been a most debated topic among children, youngsters, middle aged and aged men. Well, neither I am asking you this, nor can I do so. I am not answering to it either. It’s just that, this idea clicked in my mind and I thought of penning it down.

To me, I am too young to answer this question with deep rooted philosophy, but I dare writing about it, only because I am looking on it otherwise. It’s just another question, so I have my answer. It may be right or wrong, sensible or nonsensical, crisp or fuzzy, clear or vague. It’s just an answer, anyone is free to agree or disagree on (needless to say, though).

Every new situation that made my life eventful has proved that, the view I had till then - if not inappropriate, has been necessarily incomplete. Well, the issue is not about being right or wrong, it is simply about my very own picture of life.

Life is a game I play, with some constraints put by nature and society; at my own level of preparedness towards it. The maverick inside me, however; always persuades me to break some of the rules. May be I like it also, but till now I have just been trying to push the rope at the boundary line a bit, without disturbing much of equilibrium, and getting just a little bit of more space, and actually this helps. If not many at least some will agree, that it’s no harm altering constraints a little bit if it does not attract much of attention. After all, anything that doesn’t harm others but helps me is fare, at least to me.

Life is a competition; it’s between me and myself. ‘Me’ is what people see and ‘myself’ is what I see about me. It’s undoubtedly tough and all the time a conflict goes, either inside or outside, who’s better. What I try to do is, establish a harmony between the two. Me is all about living life with other’s aspirations about me; and myself is living life with my own aspirations. I hope you will agree that, establishing harmony is the only choice – for there is no other option, the competition is always on, and taking side is surely a folly.

Life is a classroom; each time the bell goes, a new situation is there, sometimes to teach a lesson and sometimes to conduct the test and help me evaluate, what I have learnt during the classes. The best part is, it leaves up to me, whether I want to take the test or not. It gives me opportunity to skip the test by compromising with situations.

I sometimes feel, no matter, how hard I try; no matter how good or better I become, the maverick within me becomes happier each time life proves my understanding about it wrong. It says, I am here for a rendezvous. So is why at this point of time, I feel that the best way to happiness is to take life as it comes to me. For above all, it is a one time opportunity to live life, why to make it heavy by thinking more and more, To me, it’s good enough to know that I am living it to the fullest, in my own special way.